Defence Wins Championships
PediatRx | 06 | A Playbook For Parents.
First post of 2024. To all my readers and supporters, Happy New Year!
In my past life, before I got married and had kids, I was a die-hard Baltimore Ravens fan. However, after My Ravens won the Super Bowl in 2013, I became disenchanted with the league. I witnessed my favourite team reach the mountaintop, I was done.
A decade later, I’ve probably only watched a handful of NFL games. However, with the NFL playoffs kicking off this weekend, and The Ravens heavy Super Bowl favourites, I can’t help but reminisce about the old championship Ravens squads from 2000 and 2013. As the old saying goes, Defence wins championships. That’s the Baltimore way.
Sports always inspire and provide us with the perfect metaphors for life. In my trials and tribulations as a Father, raising two young children during the pandemic has brought many lessons. Parenting is a delicate balance between offence and defence. You have to pick your battles, effectively manage your time and energy, maintain constant communication with your partner, and always be ready to adapt on the fly.
To kick off the new year, I’d like to dedicate this post to all the burnt-out Mothers and Fathers out there. To all the real ones suffering sleepless nights, early morning wake-ups, code browns and more. I crafted this defensive playbook to help me through the tough times of caring for a toddler and an infant. Like sports, deploying the right tactics can make all the difference. As they say, defence wins championships.
The Playbook
Double Team - Defensive Powerplay.
At the get-go, this is the first defensive option the Parent team employs. Congrats, you have a fresh new baby. The Father usually takes some time off work and all hands are on deck. The poor kid is outnumbered and although they’re dictating the pace of the game, the parents have the upper hand.
Eventually, Mum gets her footing and can handle the assignment on her own, luckily, Dad is usually around to jump in. As more time passes, Mum and Dad can alternate primary defensive duties and the child, inevitably, accepts defeat.
As more time passes, things get easier and easier. The parents get lazier and lazier… and sometimes it’s planned, sometimes it’s not, but a new player may enter the game. When that happens, the tables have turned.
Man to Man - Attend To Their Needs.
Now both squads have even numbers, the game has changed. In the early days of 2v2, it’s best to employ man-to-man coverage. Remember, toddlers and infants require our undivided attention, and our primary role is to attend to their needs. The matchup naturally leads to the Mother tending to the infant, while the Father handles the toddler. Be ready to switch up the assignment to give both parents and kids a break.
Especially if you’re dealing with a toddler, when a younger sibling enters the picture, their world is flipped upside down. It’s important that they still get one-on-one attention from their Mother. They’re in a delicate stage in their cognitive development and are learning how to express their emotions. Also, don’t forget that dads need to build a new bond with the newborn. After all, dads are a kid’s first friend.
Zone Defence - Divide and Conquer.
As your little ones continue to grow, routines begin to set in and it becomes easier to divide and conquer. Split up and delegate tasks, based on each parent’s unique strengths. Mum handles breakfast while Dad prepares the kids for daycare or school. In the evening, assign one parent to dinner duties while the other hands playtime. At night, Dad handles bath time, Mum handles bedtime stories.
Guard against the chaos by assigning roles and constantly communicating any audibles. One of the beauties of the zone defence is that as you gain more reps and comfort in your roles, you can even take up the solo challenge of handling kids, gifting your partner some much-deserved time for rest and recuperation.
Press Defence - Anticipate and Intercept.
The press coverage involves the defence applying pressure off the bat. It’s a proactive approach to disrupt the offence’s rhythm and routines. The best time to employ this defence is when you need to quickly alter behaviour, change a habit or instill a new one. When you’re in press coverage, you have to be quick on your feet.
The press is all about anticipating situations. Anticipate and prevent your toddler’s meltdowns by addressing their needs before they turn into full-blown crises. Think of it as intercepting a tantrum before it even has a chance to start.
To do this effectively, have some strategies in place on how you can mitigate any situations which may induce an emotional outburst from your toddler. The goal isn’t to suppress emotions. It’s to deal with them when they arise, with compassion and empathy. If all else fails and your toddler throws a fit, remember to accept the loss, hold on tight and just embrace your child. Like everything else, this too shall pass.
The Blitz - The Best Defence Is A Strong Offence.
Sometimes, the best defence is a strong offence. With the blitz, it’s a potent approach to neutralize the attacking team and prevent them from gaining any more ground.
At times, your kids will run all over you. You’ll feel beaten down, exhausted and overwhelmed. That’s when you have to go on the offensive. It’s a bold move. Most of the time, we parents prefer to sit back, observe then react, but when you’re neck-deep in chaos, it can help to unleash some force. Physical play is a cornerstone of childhood.
Wrestling, pillow fights, and tickle attacks are all great ways to dish out some payback; there’s some catharsis when you rumble and tumble with the kids. When the kids are wired and out of control, nothing feels better than imposing your will, reestablishing order and making them remember who’s in charge.
Bottom Line
Just like in sports, mastering defensive strategies in parenting can lead to championship-worthy moments. No matter where you are in your journey, I invite all of you to set up and create your own, unique playbooks. Always remember: Defense wins championships, both on the field and in the chaotic world of child-rearing. Don’t forget to have fun and enjoy the process.
Thanks for reading. Much love.
SG
P.S. Go Ravens!
“PediatRx” is written by Dr. Shawn Gill, PharmD - a pharmacist and Father of two boys. During the day he works as a clinical pharmacist in family medicine and pediatrics, with a focus on deprescribing and helping his patients reduce their medication needs. At night, he writes this newsletter. “PediatRx” is a collection of personal anecdotes and contemplative musings, crafted into a practical prescription for parents. The goal is to share insights, foster hope and inspire fellow parents to raise and nurture resilient children in a post-pandemic world. To support this effort, subscribe below. Many thanks.